Oh. Crap.

Sadie started solids four days ago. She has not had a bowl movement in as many days. Until today.

Yes, I am now that woman who blogs about her child's poop. But y'all. This was no average poop.

The first sign I got that something was amiss was after I put Sadie in the Bumbo chair and she got that faraway look in her eyes, and before I knew it her pants were making burbling sounds. Usually this is cause for celebration. I picked her up and, in a move that I hope no one ever, ever sees me do, sniffed her pants to see if she'd really pooped.

Holy shit. It almost knocked me over.

I took her to the bedroom and opened up her diaper, almost afraid of what I might find. And what I found --

No, wait. First let me describe a bit what a milkfed baby's poop is usually like. It's kind of runny. And bright yellow. It doesn't usually smell terrible (I mean, it's not like a rose garden but at least the scent doesn't linger), and it wipes off quickly and easily. Someone once whimsically described milkfed baby poop as smelling like "buttermilk." It doesn't, but it's fairly inoffensive.

Compare this with what I discovered today, when I opened Sadie's diaper and for a moment was under the mistaken impression that somehow, an overweight trucker with 13 beers and a 7-layer burrito from Taco Bell in his system found my daughter's diaper and decided to take a crap in it. I reeled. I retched. I used five wet wipes and when it was done and the offending diaper was in the Diaper Genie, the room still reeked.

Is this my future? Is this what it will be like from now on? Have other moms been dealing with this forever and I only now just figured out that real baby poop is like this, not the buttermilky manna from heaven with which I was previously dealing? Because if so...Not. Cool.