Moms who read this blog...I'm very curious to know whether or not you were pressured to breastfeed over formula feed -- and, in the case of the older generations, were you pressured NOT to breastfeed back when it was out of vogue? How did you make your choice? What were the factors you based your decision on -- work obligations? Physical difficulties?
I've been reading many articles on the matter, this being the most recent one to get me thinking: Are the Benefits of Breastmilk Oversold?
Moms-to-be, dads, those with no intention of ever having children...what are your feelings on the matter? Do you feel strongly one way or another?
I find the current debate today over breastfeeding to be fascinating. Moms who formula feed complain of pressure, guilt, from society, even if they have legitimate reasons for having chosen formula over breastfeeding. And who is to say whether a reason is "legitimate" or not? Is it selfish to "deprive" your baby of breastmilk simply because you didn't have the time to do it properly, or you had difficulty with the process and weren't willing to put yourself through weeks or months of pain?
I can offer my own story: I was lucky enough to want to breastfeed and to have the opportunity -- I've been working from home, my daughter had no difficulties latching on. I did NOT choose to breastfeed because of the insistence of our birthing class teacher, or La Leche League, or anybody else, that breast is best. I already knew I wanted to try, on a very personal level.
My reasons for continuing to do it, to be honest, are mostly selfish at this point. I love the experience. If I had a need to switch to formula, then I would be reluctant -- not because I feel that formula is not as good as breast milk, but because I've enjoyed sharing the time with Sadie. (I suppose I'd also miss the convenience -- heating up a bottle at 3am is never as easy as opening up the nursing bra.)
However, with that said, I always feel annoyed when people ask me if I'm breastfeeding and then, when I say yes, nod with approval and say, "Good for you!" Why do I need their approval? What are they thinking when someone responds, "No, I'm not?" Why is it any of their business how I nourish my child?
If you feel so inclined please leave a comment, I would love to hear your thoughts.
There is definitely a stigma attached to formula. But its really just a pendulum at this point. Our parents were raised against breast feeding. The independent woman used formula. only the the hippie chicks breast fed. So the hope is that over time it will rest in the middle. without mothers making other mothers feel like failures for choosing one or the other. That's what I think. But I am a dad. So what do I know?
ReplyDelete[this is good] You're right about the war over breastfeeding raging through generations. And as you know, it's not just breastfeeding -- ANY choice a mother makes will get pilloried by somebody. Our culture encourages judging moms (dads are usually exempted). It's very unfortunate, because the message is clearly "You don't know what you're doing." This is why I've always thought it important for women to support each other in their choices.
ReplyDeleteDespite what your friend David posted, most women my age (early 60's) breastfed when we had our kids. Women's liberation was on the march, and doctors and hospitals began to respond and encourage breastfeeding, quick bonding after birth, etc. There was much more support for breastfeeding in the 1970's than in the decades before.
I was determined to do it regardless. Your grandma Dottie did it at a time when it was NOT all that popular (1940's), and I didn't want to mess with family tradition. Also, as you point out, the advantages are obvious: easy, cheap, convenient. And the bonding experience is terrific!
All that said -- there are at least 100,000 issues a Mom will confront in raising her kids from birth to adulthood. What gets put in their mouths nutrition-wise, and how it gets delivered, seems to me less important than many other concerns.
I don't claim to be an expert since I'm still, as far as I know, without child... but I'm one of those firm believers (no pun intended) that if your body supplies you with something with the intention of benefiting your offspring, then it's probably best to use it for that purpose. I have a very close friend, who shall remain nameless, who has always told me that she will refuse to breastfeed when she has children because she doesn't want them to sag later. I thought that was the most horrendously vain thing I'd ever heard, and tried and tried to explain to her that THIS IS WHAT THEY'RE THERE FOR, but she just refused, so I let it be. In my opinion, it's like being born with arms to carry your baby but deciding to buy a pair of fake arms to carry him/her with, instead. Or... if they managed to invent a little portable uterus that you could carry around with you instead of carrying the baby in your belly, would you do that? I thought the whole point was to have it IN YOUR BELLY! Again, I'm no expert... just my naive opinions on the matter. ;)
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