All of my stress has been put in perspective over the last few days because of my grandfather's recent health problems. He had a serious fall while at work earlier in the week and is now in the hospital receiving care, which is frightening for him and for us. We've always had a close and special relationship and I'm very worried about him, although I know he's in great hands.

I've worked out a temporary deal with our babysitter, Shawnie, to take care of Sadie in the afternoons from now until the end of January. She's a student and next semester begins in February, so unfortunately I'll have to find someone else fairly soon -- but it's a tremendous relief to have some of the pressure taken off of us to find a replacement for the last nanny immediately.

We conducted a couple of interviews. Two didn't stick -- one was a young Swedish woman who seemed kind of over it and just desperate for a job; the other seemed really smart and capable, but I was getting an "I'm not sure I even want this job" kind of vibe from her. I want the person I hire to be genuinely enthusiastic about Sadie, without being so un-picky that they will accept the position no-questions-asked.

And, most importantly, I HAVE to have a good gut instinct about her, and I don't want to be pushed into making that kind of decision after knowing the person for only 20 minutes. I never really loved our last nanny, even though she seemed better than the alternative, continuing to employ Petty Criminal Nanny. She was sweet to Sadie, but not especially affectionate, and Sadie always cried when she arrived. She always seemed to be killing time while looking for something better -- I even discovered yesterday that she was using our computer to scour the internet for better jobs. Jesus, people, does nobody know how to cover their tracks anymore? If you're going to use your employer's computer to look for other jobs, at least be smart enough to sign out of your email account when you leave!

Anyway, the third candidate we interviewed was really great -- she's an older woman whose kids have recently moved out of the house but aren't yet old enough to start having kids of their own. She only wants part-time work, and it was clear she was quality material when she admitted that she's already been offered a job by a family she's never met, just off the strength of her Craigslist posting. She brought a bunch of material for me to look at, including pamphlets from Trustline, a service which conducts a background check on your behalf for you to show employers as proof that you aren't shady. She'd be taking something of a pay cut coming to work for us, but I have a secret weapon: a charming-as-shit baby girl who completely charmed her in the interview. I think there's a good chance that she'd accept the job and come work for us, so let's keep our fingers crossed on that one.

What else? Sadie has a bunch of new words, including "Nana" for banana, and "App" for apple, which sounds suspiciously similar to "Up" when she wants to be picked up or see something on a raised surface. This morning she lost track of me and started wandering around the house calling "Mama, Mama?" which melted my heart because she likes to pretend she doesn't know my name. She blows kisses all day.

Sessions with Dr. Meyer, the child psychologist, are going fine. Sadie has no issues at all in the sessions and so far has been blasting through the simple puzzles and other toys the doctor gives her. Dr. Meyer seems convinced that Sadie's issue with PT is that it's causing her some kind of physical discomfort, which is what triggers her crying bouts, but both Scott and I are skeptical about this. Although she does have "good" and "bad" days with the crying, which indicates that maybe sometimes she feels less good than others, she also has triggers that have nothing to do with physical motion, such as when Rose walked away from her to pick up the phone at her daycare trial. It also doesn't make sense that she'd be inconsolable afterward when she hasn't so much as moved two feet. Besides, Scott has regular wrestling sessions with her where he tosses her onto the bed and she wriggles around like a fish, and she's too busy laughing her ass off to exhibit any sign of pain or discomfort.

So the mystery continues. Dr. Meyer wants us to go to a neurologist to make sure that Sadie doesn't have some kind of chronic condition that's causing her pain, such as arthritis. We haven't decided yet whether or not to pursue this avenue, since it means yet another doctor who, I'm sure, will want to run further tests and have her come in again and again and possibly refer her to yet another specialist. Considering she's already standing more confidently and is getting closer every day to taking her first steps, I'm not sure this is necessary or even for the best.