September 24, 2010

Dear Sadie,

Today, you turn one.

As I type this, I'm watching you on the video monitor as you take your midday nap. You're splayed out in a position that looks terribly uncomfortable, with your head mashed up against the bars of the crib. Your ability to sleep constantly amazes me.

In the past few weeks, we've been guilty of focusing on the negative aspects of your growth -- the gross motor skill delays, the hissy fits, the fact that you're such a little juvenile delinquent that you actually got expelled from day care and are already putting your physical therapist through her paces.

Sometimes we're guilty of overlooking the aspects of you that are perfect and wonderful -- the brag-worthy stuff, the things that make us look at you in complete and total awe and sometimes, secretly high-five while other people's backs are turned.

For starters, you sleep. I mean, you really like to sleep. Always have. You began sleeping five and six-hour stretches when you were six weeks old. One night when you were only a few months old, you slept for ten straight hours and your Dad had to physically restrain me from going in to check on you and make sure you were still breathing.

We understand what a rare, incredible gift we've been given, having a child who requires 12 straight hours of undisturbed rest, with two daytime naps on top of it. Other parents hate us because of it. We've learned not to talk about it because it's like telling everyone that you have so much money that you've run out of ways to spend it, but once a year we're allowed to be smug.

Not only do you like your crib, but you demand to be in your crib. Sometimes when it's nap time and we're walking around lowering blinds and hunting for a clean pacifier, you fuss and whine, leaning out toward your crib, wanting us to turn out the lights and leave you in peace. Once I place you in bed, you roll around for awhile, then sit up and play with your stuffed animals, or flip through a book. You talk quietly to yourself, and at some point you lie down and simply go to sleep. Sometimes when you wake up, you'll hang out in there for awhile longer, just because you don't yet care to see us. For this, we thank you.

You are a mercifully non-picky eater. I hope this is something you never grow out of, but in case you do, I'm going to enjoy it now while it lasts. You rarely turn down a meal; even if you aren't hungry you'll generally sample a few bites. There are foods you aren't crazy about, like eggs -- but mostly, you'll eat anything.

This morning, you sat with me in the garden and we shared a raw green pepper. You were down with it. Do you know how weird it is that you actually like vegetables? You greatly enjoy a steamed veggie salad, picking up the carrots and peas and zucchini one at a time and sampling them like a gourmand. That's very different from your style of eating banana, which is to stuff it all into your mouth at the same time, discover you no longer have room to chew, spew out the excess and hurriedly shovel it back in as quickly as possible.

When you have, on rare occasion, a nightmare, I imagine that it is because you've envisioned a universe in which blueberry yogurt doesn't exist.

You love to be hugged and held close. You're not always snuggly -- sometimes you push us away, literally holding us at arm's length. But more often, you want to be cradled on our laps, tucked safely into your carseat, or just to chill in your stroller. You like being enveloped by the world around you. Our physical therapist says it's because babies like you have difficulty mentally placing yourself in space -- it makes it easier and less scary to be touching things at all time. Whatever the reason, it means that a long car ride or an hour-long walk in your stroller are not things to dread, but instead ways to calm you down and make you happy.

You challenge, surprise, frustrate and educate us in ways we never could have imagined. You're an amazing kid, and it's too bad you don't have any concept of what a birthday is, because if you did you'd appreciate just how much extra love, affection and attention you've been getting today from the many people who love you. Enjoy it, kid.

Happy Birthday.