Blom Brain

Whenever I consider changing my hair color, I'm reminded of the simple fact that being blonde accurately represents a huge facet of my personality: my extreme absent-mindedness. Why hide this with false advertising, I say? Better that people know what they're up against.

When I became pregnant with Sadie, pregnancy brain combined with blonde brain, and then when Sadie was born and my focus became laser-pointed at her on a constant basis, my absent-mindedness with regards to everything else in my life morphed into something of epic proportions. It is Blonde Brain meets Mom Brain. It is Blom Brain.

So this morning, I didn't have a lot on the docket so I figured I'd take Sadie over to a magic show they're holding for young kids every Wednesday morning through the month of June at a local mall. I knew some moms who were meeting up there, in the "center plaza" area of the mall.

The first thing I did, once I'd bundled Sadie into the car along with the Bjorn and my purse and the diaper bag, was to realize that my feet were suspiciously comfortable. That's when I realized that I'd left the house in my pink, fuzzy memory foam house slippers.

After I'd changed into actual real-person shoes, we arrived at the mall. I put Sadie in the Bjorn and we meandered around. Oh, I should also mention that I'd managed to tweak my back while loading Sadie into the car seat, so I was sort of comically hobbling through the mall with an 18lb. baby attached to my chest and a diaper bag swinging from my arm, with only the vaguest idea of where I was actually going (I figured "the center" was a good bet).

I saw no kids anywhere. I asked every store employee I saw where the Kids Club was meeting, you know, with the magician. They were like, "Huh?" I had no contact information for the moms I was supposed to meet up with other than email addresses, so I just kept wandering. I accosted a mom at Coffee Bean who looked like she was on her way to something, but she also had no idea what I was talking about. "I'll keep an eye out for you," she offered kindly, probably noting the look of pain and bewilderment on my face.

I think it was about my third lap through the mall that I pulled out my phone and rechecked the invitation. Did I have the right day? Yes -- Wednesday, June 16th. The right time? Yes -- 10:30am. The right location? Yes, it was in the damn center plaza of the Sherman Oaks Galleria --

Oh.

Um...I guess this is the point where I mention I was walking around Fashion Square.

"Let's go home!" I said brightly to Sadie, glad that she's not yet old enough to find her mother lame and embarrassing. On the way out I walked past Coffee Bean mom and sort of kept my head low so she wouldn't ask me if I found the Kids Club. We went to the park instead and I pushed Sadie on the swings for awhile and pretended like that had been my destination all along.

Yeah, I'm a blom.