Shadowboxing

Ever since we got home from Washington, Sadie has decided that falling asleep is the thing she hates most in the world. Not actually sleeping -- just getting there.

I live by the 90 Minute Sleep Solution, which suggests putting the baby down for a nap after she's been awake for 90 minutes. It's this book that has enabled me to work out a daytime napping schedule for Sadie, and the consistency has been great to see. She stirs around 7, wakes up for real around 9, then goes back down at 10:30 for about half an hour. Around noon is when I take my long daily walk, and she'll usually snooze in the stroller. Then she goes down next around 2:30, which is when she takes her long afternoon nap until 5ish, and on an ideal day she'll take one final catnap from 6:30 to 7, then is awake until her bedtime at 9.

Great schedule, right? As long as she keeps to it, Sadie is a happy girl. She's generally good-natured anyway, and her meltdowns tend to be few and far between. That's why this new shift in behavior has me so baffled.

It first happened the day after we got back in town. As I wrapped her up in her miracle blanket, she began crying. Nothing unusual, but when I picked her up and started to rock her, instead of calming down instantly as she usually does, she only cried harder. I was convinced that something was wrong and went through the whole cycle: checking her diaper, massaging her belly in case she had gas, offering her something to eat in case she was hungry. But she just wanted to cry -- a lot.

Now, this seems to be her new routine, and it breaks my heart. She doesn't want to go down for a nap without sobbing for several minutes first, as if she's afraid of what will happen when she gets to dreamland. Even on her walk in the stroller yesterday, she wailed -- and she NEVER does that. The moving stroller is like her little zen world where nothing bad ever happens. And again this morning, as I wrapped her up for her 10:30 catnap, she utterly freaked out. I can't tell you how much it hurts my heart to see tears running down her cheeks, an expression on her face as she looks at me that says, "Mom, why won't you make this better?" She sucks her hands, she roots at my shirt but isn't interested in eating. She chokes, she's crying so hard. If I put her down, she cries harder. And finally, after she's worn herself out, she gives a few little hiccups and sobs and her eyes close.

I hope this is temporary. I hope this isn't the way things stay. We've been so lucky to have a happy baby who rarely cries and is easily comforted. Could it be the beginning of teething already, even though she's only three and a half months old?